"For I do not do the good I want,
but the evil I do not want
is what I keep on doing."
Romans 7:19
—Elion
"Sometimes the only thing you can
do is laugh at your own battles
and keep fighting anyway."
—A.Garrett
There’s a strange, beautiful comfort in know-
ing the Apostle Paul—the fiery, brilliant man
who helped shape the early Church—once
admitted:
"For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I
do not want is what I keep on doing."
(Romans 7:19)
He wasn't pretending.
He wasn't posturing for sainthood.
He was pulling back the curtain on what it
really means to live a life of faith:
Wrestling with yourself.
Falling short.
And somehow getting up again anyway.
There are days when I lose to myself, too.
When anger wins.
When despair whispers louder than hope.
When fear makes choices I swore I'd never
make.
And yet—
The sunrise still comes.
The mercy still waits.
The next breath still offers the chance to
fight again.
Maybe that's why I recognize myself in Paul.
Not because I've lived a life worthy of epis-
tles and missions and altars—but because I
know the long, grueling battlefield inside a
single human heart.
I laugh with Paul because I understand the
absurd, painful, beautiful truth:
Victory doesn't always look like
conquering.
Sometimes it just looks like surviving.
Sometimes it just looks like refusing to
give up, even when everything inside you
screams to quit.
Maybe that's what faith really is:
Not never falling. But falling, falling
again, and choosing to believe— against
every shadow and silence—that God is
still reaching for you.
And that the struggle itself means you're still
alive.
Still fighting.
Still His.
A Simple Conversational Reflection
Laughing with Paul